Alex Ward was born in 1919 to Harold George Ward, HM Chief Inspector of Taxes. During his teens he sported a top hat and tails at Westminster School for Boys, and in his twenties he moved to Cornwall with his friend Charles Menzinger. In an attempt to live as simple farmers they bought a cow and named her Doscowevsky. Alex then fell in love with the silent movie Goddess Virginia Bradford, who had previously dated both Charlie Chaplin and Einstein, or so she always claimed. Virginia insisted that she could never marry an uneducated man, so Alex went up to Oxford in 1947 to complete a degree in Politics, Philosophy and Economics.
Having milked Doscowevsky for all she was worth, the three of them discovered that property fraud was far more lucrative. Virginia and Charles went to jail for 3 years while Alex, always pleased by pretty women, had a child with a beautiful young maiden named Joy. Outraged, Virginia informed Oxford from her cell in Holloway that they had an incestuous pupil on their hands. Alex was hauled in front of the Dean to explain that Joy was in fact her niece, not his. He went on to marry three more times and had three children out of wedlock. Today, without a woman, he often claims to be the abandoned Father.
In his late 20's he discovered that, after women, few things pleased a man more than a car, and it was this epiphany that led him to his next cash cow. Charles and Virginia were released from jail, and together they set up in the used car business. Alex has continued in the profession to this day and presently reigns as the oldest car dealer to visit the Chelmsford car auction each week. Three of his four sons have joined him in the business and together they operate from No.18 Hercules Street in Holloway, North London.
Alex's identity as a car dealer alleviates his primal fear - to be seen as petit bourgeois. He chooses to live on Hercules Street, as far as possible from the middle class existence he so dreads. Philosophy still plays a major part in his life, and has inspired as-yet-unpublished tracts such as The Great Feminist Disaster and The Nuclear Downfall and his play that showed in Notting Hill Gate, The Toy of God, the props from which now furnish his house. He is presently writing a book called Proof of the Existence of God. He surrounds himself with his sons, adopted sons, lodgers, and mechanics.....